Old Wives' Tails

Me : How are you? ? How Have you Been? Hellooooo

They : I just came back from Mumbai last night/ I was in Turkey and came back 3 weeks ago/ I’m leaving for Switzerland tomorrow and next week I’ll go to Mongolia.

Why? Why do some people think they can tell me of their comings and goings? It's a village thing to share every detail with anyone you bump into. Every time I get a destination response, I feel like I have somehow given them the impression that :

1. I am very interested in their travels.

2. I am very interested in them. 

In the cities,“How are You?” is answered with a droll ‘fine, great, all good’ - and a ‘Thank you.’ That is the only decent and acceptable response. Normal folks get their endorphins released from a walk in the park. These bi-weekly vacationers have their dopamine levels activated by stale airplane air. The airport lounge coffee is their SSRI and telling me about their impending/concluded travels is how they get an oxytocin release. Well, I’m not into dealing drugs. 

Incessant travel like most things is an addiction. It is an acceptable addiction, like being a workaholic, an exercise addict or a plastic surgery fiend. No one calls it out! Yes we colour our hair, wear false eyelashes, brighten our teeth and people get low doses of fillers and corrections here and there - that's all grooming. It's the obsession with youth which is unhealthy. The constant peels, the botox, the steam ironing of folds of skin, the laserings, the pinching, plumping, snipping, sucking, stapling, scalp pulling, transplanting and freezing have become acceptable addictions. And not to mention those wretched humanoids who are calorie counters, full body scanners and those vampires who transfuse blood from their teen-aged kids. If you haven't heard of people trying to reverse age - you've been living under a rock.

Everyone talks about either staying young or aging gracefully - what does that mean? We don't look at a diapered baby and say - ooh this wrinkled, toothless, bald human who can't control his bowels or utter anything comprehensible is aging gracefully. There is nothing graceful about life. From the beginning to the end it's eat, puke, fart, shit, with some fucks thrown in. Not to mention knee pain, faltering eyesight, toothaches and some more knee pain! The whole point of living is aging.

And the staying young? Really? Looking young-er than your grandfather at your age, I can understand but remaining young? Nah. Too many attachment issues. Isn't attachment the bane of human existence? I was pondering about this ,and I realized, most people say they're not attached to material things and they don't hold old grudges and don't feel powerless once they retire from work or a fancy position. And there's SOME truth to that. Me? Yep I have attained Nirvana. I don't care about riches, I value people. Power, I never had any so I will never miss it, and grudges? Nopes. None - I'm all happy go lucky and my life is super sorted?

Is it? I had to think for another few seconds and yes, I don't care about fancy cars and designer labels - but that tube of lipstick? The one that got smooshed badly only on the second use. I hold onto it. For years. Travel across continents with it, because I can't let go of a lipstick I didn't put to use. Let's not talk about uncomfortable shoes. And the necklace I bought at the MET because it was on sale - but ugly! Power? I can't join whatsapp groups because it's a power flex. If I'm im a group - I'll have to follow rules. I can't BARK in ALL CAPS at the idiot who tries a humble brag or worse, just brags.

And grudges? Slights? I remember all of them. And nurture them. Not the painful life changing ones - those one has to learn and process and get over. But those little ones that niggle at me. A guy described me as "always being the centre of attraction". And I will hold him in contempt for the rest of his life not just because he was mocking my vanity but because he used a wrong phrase to describe me. It is centre of ATTENTION and not ATTRACTION. I hope he reads this and learns a thing or two.

If I'm lucky enough to get old and better still get a death bed, I'm not going to pray for detachment from the big ticket items, I'm just going to pray for salvation from pettiness, micro-aggressions and being a grammar Nazi.